A good week

I have a job! It’s not my dream job, but it’s something. I have a job in New York. Translation: I did it. I changed the direction of my life.

I am beyond ecstatic to be back on a regular schedule with productive things to do. Now I just need to make a little money to get an apartment!!

I’m “coming into my own” as a former role model put it. I guess so. Last night, I had my first all girls outing with new friends from NYC. I have a holiday party with these same girls coming up. I’m a little lonely, but also extremely busy and have very little time to focus on that part of my life. I know that once the dust settles, I’ll feel alone and sad that I wasn’t more focused on the friend thing. I’m very happy with my new relationship, but a guy can never be everything. I learned that when I lost my best friend in my last break up.

But like I said, I’m busy. Plans every night. We are going to see The Who tonight. For free! In a suite! How cool is that? I’m a person who loves to be on the go, and there is always something to do…
Parties, benefits, drinks, food, shopping, sports, concerts, touristy things. I’m in love with this city and all of its money draining wonders.
– uh, just the problem of having no money. I’m so lucky to have people who expose me to so much for free, but I also have to start saving and stop enjoying all of the wonderful food in the city. I’m going to get fat and go broke!! But how can I resist?
Real New York pizza and bagels, ethnic food everywhere, fresh sushi, incredible muffins, cheeses from all over the world!! Doesn’t help that I’m dating a guy who loves bagels and have a cousin who is a pastry chef and lives with a chef!
I really need to buckle down. I’m channeling Elizabeth Gilbert on the indulgence part of her journey. Unfortunately for my waistband, I am not on a trip. This is my new life. Okay. Granted, I am a size 0 and still eat better than most people I know… Just saying, it’s something I need to consider.
I also need to stop channeling Elizabeth Gilbert in her indulgence phase and start channeling Rachel Bertsche who wrote “MWF seeking BFF” in an effort to become more acclimated to the city and my new life. Not a coincidence that I bought that book while in Union Square months before I moved here. Maybe I should re-read it for tips.

Another tangent… I am always cold! I have very inappropriate clothing an shoes for city walking. My feet hurt and I’m freezing!!! I need inexpensive options to solve these problems!!

Off to work… It’s going to be a long day! I cannot wait for the concert tonight!

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Author: Room to Regulate

Room to Regulate started as an emotional release – I was tired of giving space to all the heaviness that comes with being your family epicenter – when I'm not regulated, no one is regulated. I wrote it all down. Every overwhelming, anxious thought. I sat with it. Then I built around it – because my story isn't unique. I have ADHD – late diagnosed, of course, the Millennial Mom special. Our anxiety manifested in different ways. We were unlabeled, mislabeled, re-labeled. We held it together through our 20s. Many of us excelled in our careers, and then came motherhood. For a long time I thought the exhaustion, the mental load, the constant recalibrating was just what motherhood felt like for everyone. Don't get me wrong. Whether you are neurodivergent, raising a neurodivergent child, a house full of neurotypicals (do those exist?!), married, unmarried, working, or not – parenthood knocks the wind out of you. And when you're an information seeker, the "why" rabbit hole is endless. It took a while to understand that a lot of what I was carrying wasn't a personal failing — it was a structural one. The systems around us — schools, workplaces, insurance, policy — were never built as an ecosystem. They were built as individual systems. The byproduct of that puts families with the most structural need at the highest risk for falling through the cracks. The hardest parts of my days were the predictable result of that gap, not evidence that I was doing it wrong.

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