Moving to a new city as an adult is difficult for many reasons. But mostly, it is a matter of balance.
How do you establish a career, learn where you’re going, and make new friends all at the same time?
As children, we are socialized. Our parents navigate our surroundings, our work depends on the bonds we form with others, and friendships are established easily by working in teams with peers with whom we spend everyday. On our off time (and we had a lot of it), we had play dates to further form these bonds.
As adults, we frankly just do a lot of stuff.
Including the time that it takes me to get to and from work, my job takes about 11 hours if my day 5 days a week, and that is on the low end for the norm of most New Yorkers. That doesn’t include getting ready in the morning, chores around the house and grocery shopping. On top of this, I am looking for a new job.
So, how do I balance this with the establishment of a social life? In truth, not well.
I find myself letting one or the other go. I am either totally wrapped up in the job search or realizing that I need close friendships and focusing my energy there.
Recently, I have developed a routine. I spend Monday nights alone decompressing, Tuesdays and Wednesdays I focus on my job search, Thursdays I try to make plans with friends, Fridays are date nights at home, and the rest of the weekend is a combination of relationship time, an hour or two of job search and one or two friend activities. This seems to work, but keeping a schedule this tight also does not leave room for flexibility, which is key in establishing new friendships.
How do you find a balance? Is there one? And the biggest question, has technology made this process easier or more difficult?
